My name is Happy Gilmore. Ever since I was old enough to skate, I loved hockey, I wasn't the greatest skater though. But that didn't stop my dad from teaching me how to slap the greatest slapshot. My dad worshiped hockey, my mom didn't, that's why she moved to Egypt, where there's not a hockey rink within 15 hundred miles. Dad always took me to games to cheer for our favorite player, Terry O'Riley, the Tazmanian Devil. He wasn't the biggest guy in the league, but he feared nobody, just like me.